I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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