At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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