There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I smell stomach acid.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize