Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
