just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
