my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So vagazzling was a success
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
