I got chris browned last night
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
