Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize