Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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