omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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