It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
