If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
