When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
