that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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