You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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