I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
