are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I smell stomach acid.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
