Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
