capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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