WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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