I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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