I bet he comes in French.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
