So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
