I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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