so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
