we're blogging at a bar
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
