Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize