I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
did you just send me my own nude
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
