New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
