just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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