Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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