Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
