So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
