get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
ttyl tear gas
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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