I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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