He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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