Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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