Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
