i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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