like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
