she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
