apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
