He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
