Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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