chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
