is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
