the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My life is pants optional.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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