come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
