So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
