is your mom at the bar?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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