i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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