is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
