where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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