I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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