Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
