i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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