I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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