Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
