I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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