I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
