You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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