Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you didnt know i had herpes?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
