And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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