Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Small penises have feelings too.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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