Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
